Restore Wholeness

Restore Wholeness

Martin Kettelhut, PhD

Dr. Kettelhut has coached groups and corporate teams, as well as individual entrepreneurs and executives, since 1997. Before then “Doc” received a PhD from Temple University and taught ethics, logic and aesthetics at Villanova and Drexel Universities in the Philadelphia area. To connect with Martin, sign up for free / log in on moreandmorenetwork.com

 

Martin Kettelhut

Envision New Possibilities

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Restore Wholeness

In the last newsletter, we discussed the elements of self-correction needed to digest fear, upset and chaos (occurring at your Growth Edge) and turn them into expanded capacity and refreshed power. In the workshop “Play and your Growing Edge” with More&MoreNetwork next Wednesday (Februrary 9th) at 11a Pacific, we will explore the importance of PLAY in making good on your Growth Edge. Go here to sign up for free:  https://moreandmorenetwork.com/join-more-and-more-network/
 
Today it’s crucial we discuss the need to be “complete” to make this shift from being upset to embracing growth. If you’re not complete, you don’t stand a chance of transforming the chaos of your Growth Edge into expanded capacity. 
 
You are incomplete when you feel frustrated, uneasy, anxious or displeased with someone/-thing. Say you got snippy with someone you care about. You are incomplete in that you are left wanting to clean up your behavior with that person: “That was not the way I’m committed to treating you.”
 
Being complete with something means that you are in a state of true acceptance. You’re not holding onto any baggage about the subject. You’re not distracted, you’re present. You don’t feel any unfinished business, you feel nothing is wrong, needs fixing or should be otherwise. 
 
“I felt incomplete with Joe, until he apologized.”
 
“To get complete and restore good terms between us, I forgave him the loan.”
 
“Unless we explain why we had to uninvite her, she will not be complete with us.”
 
“I was incomplete with his not staying for dinner before I understood the Japanese custom of enryo.”
 
When you sense that you are incomplete about something, write out your responses to the following five questions as a means to…
 
Restore Wholeness

  1. Are you truly ready to complete the matter?
  1. What happened that touched off your incompletion?
  1. Why is this a source of incompletion; which of your commitments got frustrated?
  1. What do you need to say or do to restore wholeness, and when will you do that?
  1. Is there anything else in the space to complete; are you complete?

You can tell you’re complete when (instead of feeling frustrated, uneasy, anxious or displeased) you sense that you’ve been freed up, you feel yourself moving on, and you envision new possibilities. 
 
I once coached a couple who were in business together but struggling in their relationship. We did a lot of exercises for getting everything said that needed saying, acknowledging each other’s point of view, and putting closure on the marriage-to-date. The couple knew they were complete when they felt compelled to renew their vows. Wholeness had been restored; they were back in love.
 
Restoring wholeness using the five questions above creates space inside you to take on new challenges.

Source: listeningisthekey.com

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