Dealing with Unwanted & Uncomfortable Situations

January 6, 2021

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By Saeed Ghaffari

There are times we all face unwanted, unpleasant or uncomfortable situations. Situations such as cases where you inadvertently hurt or offend someone or when you become the subject of one’s inappropriate and hurtful judgement or comments.  Unfortunately, situations like these are common among friends, co-workers, clients and service providers, etc.

Uncomfortable Situations

In the past few days, I witnessed a couple of them one between an agent and an escrow officer and the second one between two of my own team members.

On the first situation, the case between the escrow officer and the agent, I know both and I have lots of respect for them. A short escrow was opened before the holidays with the intent to close it by the year end.  The escrow officer with all the experience and professionalism under her belt, in my judgement dropped the ball and caused a day or two delay in closing. Any other delays, I attribute it to the holidays, overwhelming amount of business with the pressure to close by year end and in general, the nature of real estate. Through the course of this transaction, the agent, rightfully expressed his frustration to the escrow officer by text and email in harsh tone, but polite.  The escrow officer replied with defensive but very professional remarks.  When I look at it from the outside, I see things happen for a good reason. The two express their frustration, their position and move on. They are professionals, they understand one another’s position and learn from the situation to keep their promises and expectations realistic and as a result, their bond strengthens and paves the way for more and better business in the future.

The second situation involved a misunderstanding taking place between a couple of my team members, and one was offended and hurt. The person who made the misjudgment had no ill intentions, and no disrespect for the one who was hurt. She did apologize to the other person and because she was still feeling bad, reached out to me to see if she should take further steps to patch things up or just let it subside on its own.  That was a very nice, thoughtful and a considerate gesture on her part.  Not knowing what to advise her, I just told her to follow her heart and whatever action or inaction she takes is going to be just fine. I truly believe in “what comes from the heart enters the heart”.

We are all grownups, we interact with one another, we run businesses and we are bound to get upset, hurt, offended from time to time and sometimes we’ll do the same to others. But unless we are able to forget and forgive, especially the ones with no ill intentions, we make our own lives more difficult than it needs to be.

Time to Change

I recently came across the quote/statement below, I don’t know the source, but I find it profound and like to share it with you:

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change. Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.  Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.  All things are difficult before they are easy.”

It seems as if they are series of quotes combined together.  I like them all, but the one I like the most is: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.”

I hope this article helps make your life a bit easier next time you come across unpleasant or uncomfortable situations, as they are part of business and life and are bound to happen.

Happy New Year and happy real estate to you all.

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